Hormonal/Self-esteem lacking rant... please disregard.

Do you ever get those days where you feel like a useless part of society? Where your self-esteem is about 20ft below ground and you don't want to leave the house?

I'm having one of those days.

I have put on so much weight since school started I feel disgusting. My mom took me out shopping to get clothes that fit me since she's apparently sick of looking at me in tight t-shirts, and I've gone up at least 3 sizes. I had to get new bras because the old ones just wont hold them in anymore. I hate mirrors.

Then I was talking about getting clothes for Ania's wedding from this cool website and she rubbed it in my face that I don't have a job and that I can't even afford to go to the wedding (ie. getting a present) let alone getting the steampunk clothes to wear to it.

and then I came in to my room and looked at job ads and there's like none that I would apply for. I can't do construction, I'm not going to fuck up my hands working at a fast food place (ie. deep fryer hands part 2) and I don't think the rest are even real.
At one point I came to the conclusion that I am worth more dead than alive, because alive I am -$7,000 on my line of credit, plus another -$10K in OSAP debt. But dead, they'd all be paid off. Now considering the amount of death that has been staring me in the face lately, this is a stupid line of thought... but hey, I'm having one of those days.