I had a great conversation with my Gurumanda today and it helped me get my mind off of school for a moment and get into thinking about paganism again and I realized how much I've been lacking in that area while I've been so focused on school.
Lately I've noticed that I haven't really "gotten into the spirit of the season" ... mostly noticed because I've been very "bah-humbug" in protest of having my ears perpetually noise-raped by Christmas music and the people wishing you a "Merry Christmas" and all that capitalistic 'buy these outrageously priced gifts or no one will love you' messages you see in the media this time of year. But I think it has affected the way I see Yule too. Which startled me into realizing that I'd lumped Yule in with Christmas and that's just not right - even if Christmas is a copyright infringement against Yule in the first place, they are totally different things in today's society.
Christmas is the over-decorated, ear-raping, forced happy, capitalism-milking consumerist holiday that starts taking over the airwaves and television commercials and stores before Halloween is even put back in the closet for the year. To me, this is insanity with a pretty bow. I cannot stand this holiday. I used to be the little girl in cute pjs with rumpled hair waking up at 6:58 and waiting with baited breath for the clock to strike 7am so I could run into my older brother's room, wake him up and then catapult onto our parents bed to wake them up for PRESENTS!!! I quite literally believed in Santa and the reindeer until I was at least 11. Possibly as old as 13. Yes. Lame, I know, but all the same, it was part of the magic of it all.
I have since lost this magic when I got old enough to have to spend my own money on presents, learned about the origins of the holiday and rejected the Father, Son and Holy Spirit as my brainwashing zombie-making faith of choice and discovered the nature religions and the history I love gets to take part in my everyday life. I learned about and began practicing a new belief, based off of older paths than Christ, and found it very paradigm shifting, and uplifting, self-empowering and enlightening. I love everything about my faith, but somehow I still lump Yule in with Christmas. I am not quite sure how to fix this, because it almost seems like I have to struggle and fight my way through Christmas-everything to find Yule in the bottom, forgotten areas of things. Fight my family mostly. We went to get our tree, they sang 'O Christmas Tree' , I sang 'O Yuletide tree' ... we go out to get cards to send to our friends and family and they don't understand why I don't want to buy the one with the three wisemen on it, or the ones with the fancy decorations that wish people a merry christmas. I got the recycled paper cards with a cute snowman that wished my friends the joys of the season and a happy new year. Much easier to personalize and add a yuletide wish for light and love in their lives during these dark winter nights. Every time I get in the car with my parents I wish I had brought my iPod so I could put on my own music and not be forced to hear "So this is christmas..." one more time. O_o*twitch*
Yule isn't about any of these things. It's about celebrating that it is cold out, it is darker earlier, that the longest night has come, which means that the light is coming back. We will make it through the Winter to see the coming Spring. That you bring the evergreen tree inside the house, and you light candles on your Yule log to represent keeping the light alive within yourself as you wait for Spring's return. You use the crops you grew and harvested, the jams and preserves you canned yourself to help you survive the Winter (and with the costs of those presents out there, it might just come down to them too!) and help you stay warm and positive in these dark and cold times of the year. It is supposed to be able gathering with your friends and family to share what you have- food, light, love and laughter - to help each other stay positive and get through the winter together. That's why people have potlucks and presents this time of year, that's why there is the tree and the lights and the (supposed to be) uplifting songs. Yet I get so bogged down with trying to celebrate my own way, and trying to climb out of the Christmas pit I've fallen into, that I don't see that happiness, I don't feel that inner light. I'm just stressed from exams, pissed about being subjected to CHRISTMAS (if I could make this sparkley, neon flashing letters I would) all the time that at the end of the day, and come December 21st (or whenever the solstice is) I just want to sit at home alone and try not to punch the next someone who wishes me a merry christmas.
So my question to you, is how, for the love of the gods, do you find the Happy Yuletide in your lives, when you're so bombarded my Merry Christmas?
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