So nobody is perfect. Pretty much a universally excepted fact. It's also a pretty common fact that friends come and go and you can tell the true friends by the way you act when you get back together after time apart. For me, most of my friends are like me in that distance and time doesn't really affect how we interact. I have friends from high school that I can go for 6 months without properly talking to, but the minute we get together we are chatting like we saw each other yesterday. Generally, I'm assuming from my past experience that this is just how adult friendships work. Distance makes the heart grow fonder after all.
Well apparently not. I went from being on the West End for 8 hours a day, and spending at least 3-4 of them at some friends' house and chatting, having fun etc, to school being done and not having a car, or the inclination to spend all my time on the other side of town. This has made me a bitch, a horrible person and an abandon-er. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but I'm broke and can't get to the other side of town, and when I don't have much to talk about due to not leaving the house except for work and frat parties once a week, it doesn't make for thrilling conversations, so once you've said all you can, what else is there? On the same thought, when you can see and read all my updates on Facebook and here, and I see and acknowledge the 'like' comments to things, what is the point of reiterating? I just don't really get it. But apparently I'm free to walk out of my friend's life and no longer be the ride everywhere, or the emotional life-vest/psychologist trying to help wade through the medicinal haze of life as it was seen by my friend. However between tone, guilt trips and a post on here, I'm thinking that the offer isn't exactly open. At least not for a while.
On the second test of sanity for the day/night, I finally texted Emily since she showed no sign of contacting me, and apparently when she hung up on me in midsentence, it was to see how much I cared, and if I cared enough to call back. Meanwhile, I'm thinking ... I'll give her time to calm down, she'll call back when she's ready to talk. When asked to explain this - well I figured you'd call back if you really cared. SERIOUSLY? Could you be more of a girl?! Huh? No. Guess not. Seriously. And when asked to explain why she got upset with me in the first place, her response was, there's no point, we can't resolve this, and you just don't get it.
That's it. I'm giving up altogether. Friends, if you want to hang out, call me and ask if I'm free at a specific time... if I am, we'll make specific plans to hang out. ie Lizz - What're you up to tomorrow night? Nothing? Movie? Sure. K Cya Then. - Not hard to do. If it goes a while between hangings out, this doesn't mean we're no longer friends. It means I have a life, and I don't always keep tabs on all my friends. If I did, I'd be busy 25/9 and never sleep. Not over exaggerating, I just know that many people. So for those of my friends who haven't all ready banished me tonight. I'm just alive, I'm just reading a book, on Facebook, busy with life or studying for school. Feel free to call me and see what I'm up to. If you leave the ball in my court for too long I'll probably forget about it and wind up hurting you. So try the serve again, be a bit specific and have patience.
This has been my tired and exhausted and frustrated rant for the night. Have a good one.
-Sam
