Pagan Spark

I've been thinking a lot about the past and my original circle and friends, and how much I miss the 'good old days'. I first learned about Wicca, Witchcraft and Paganism in, what - like grade 4. I bought my first spell book in grade 5, started working on visualizations and meditation with Sorina in grade 6-7, then kind of lost focus in high school. I remember calling up thunderstorms at recess in grade 8, but grade 9, I went to a different high school and lost my way, religion class was more like "Brainwash with Christianity" class. It wasn't until 2nd year university that I found my way again. I met Sarah, Amanda, Emily and Tovah, and in turn, my sisters. Sarah and Emily joined my sorority, I joined their study group and we all started to practice together.

It was a bit of a slow start getting all the stuff I'd read back into my mind, but after a while it all started to flow together we had meetings every week about a different topic, we held philosophical debates and discussions, we did full moon rituals in the backyard of the house that Amanda and Tristan/ Sarah and Richard lived in, and we all got to be very close friends. Then there was a big disturbance and our group fell apart, another one sprung up in its place, and I got to know some new friends, then Sarah moved back to Peterborough and Amanda and Tristan got married and now they've moved away, and it all just seems to be so long ago.

I just miss all the stuff we used to do, holding Sabbat and Esbat rits in the backyard, digging a new firepit, me waking everyone up at 6:30am on Litha with a giant noisemaker so we could go start the fire outside, sitting and talking for hours, writing rituals, debating about different pagan things. The stories and laughter echo in my mind and I miss it. I miss my friends that have moved away, I miss the rituals where we spoke from the heart and felt the energy coursing through us and the post-ritual fireside chats, still buzzing with energy and didn't want to go in to bed just yet. Or the making jam in Amanda's kitchen.

Maybe I'm just being too sentimental, but I just feel like I've lost my spark right now. I'm looking forward to Spirits of the Earth Festival next week though, so I can get myself grounded, see my fest family and try to get back my spark.

Memorials and Dedications

I've been thinking a lot lately about Clyde, and my tattoo and my future. With school starting soon, I've been thinking about getting my next tattoo done, but I'm not sure which one I want to get next. It's been a year since Clyde was put down, and I still haven't gotten the horseshoe tattoo I wanted to get dedicated to him done yet.

It was supposed to be a part of my first tattoo, the big one across my back, )O( and then have the horse shoe held by the vines comeing down from the full moon to hang just below it, with CLYDE inside it. But it didn't come out on the transfer, and I decided I wanted a separate tattoo done just for Clyde, on my ankle with the english ivy wrapper around my ankle.

The other ankle is going to have a ∆Z inspired tattoo on it, with the greek letters on the inside and a pink rose on the outside, with the english ivy once again wrapping around the ankle. My thoughts being that I want to get the one for Clyde done because it was a year ago he was put down in April, but given that I'm done University, and I'm a ∆Z Alumna now, it's fitting that I get that tattoo done before I move on to my second college experience - massage therapy.

I'm just not sure which one I want to get done first. I can't afford to get them both done at the same time, and I think I'd pass out from the experience of getting them both done at once. Also, I'd need to save up a while before I could afford to get another tattoo, since I'm already so far in debt, I can't afford to spend another $400 to get the two tattoos done, and I'd probably end up spending more, since it's technically two tattoos and my artist, Lisa, is kind of on the expensive side.

I guess I just want another piece done, but I don't know which is more important or fitting, getting the one for my sorority done now that I'm done school, as a dedication to my time as an active sister; or getting the memorial tattoo to my horse, and best friend Clyde.

Okay, I'll stop rambling now.

Cheers.